New phone, new number. I finally exist again!

If you want my new number, comment on this post. As you might know, my phone broke and I lost everyone's numbers, so if you're reading this and think that I've been avoiding you on purpose, not true at all. I simply no longer have your number. I remembered my parents' number and that's it. Everything else was in the phone. 'Cause I'm a tard.

No phone. Phoneless. Sans Phone. No speaky phone.

Today for the third time ever, I dropped my phone. It didn't land hard, just kind of "whenk" on its back. Picked it up. It grew an extra chromosome. Seriously, this thing is... have you ever seen a cat or dog after some dickhead owner makes it all dizzy and it runs around in a circle for 4 seconds and then falls over and has that dazed and unfocused look on its face for about an hour? That's my phone. It has brain damage.

Needless to say, I can't make or receive calls or texts for the time being. For as much as the timing couldn't suck more, it's actually a good thing. I'm switching over to "Smart Talk" and getting a phone for free, plus the plan is only 30 bones a month. It's a better plan than I have now for less than I'm paying with AT&T. But I need to talk it over with GF first and she doesn't get home for another 6 hours.

The point being, I'm getting a new phone and a new number, so don't get all pissy if I don't answer a text or I fail to call you back in the next few days. It's not personal. I just have limited funds to deal with a tarded phone at the moment.

Anyone who wants my new number should comment here and I'll get it to you. You can put personal info in your comments, I won't approve anything for public display. Not for this post anyway. Oh, and since my current phone is playing with bunnies, I don't have ANYONE'S phone numbers anymore. None. So there's another kick in the throat I didn't need right now.

Good times. Good times.

Check this dude out! You can play with him! Well, you can feed him. I've sat here watching this guy for nearly an hour, and it's the cutest gogdamn thing I've ever seen.

Seriously! Dig him!





If you want to check him out full screen, go here

Larry "Wild Man" Fischer 1944 - 2011

I just received an email telling me that Larry "Wild Man" Fischer passed away yesterday. Those of you who actually know me know that Larry was a pretty important person to me. I never met the man, but his music and his spirit changed my life.

I wrote a blog about him a few years back, and I really don't have any words right now, so I'm going to re-post that blog here for you.

'Bye Larry. Your mind was one of a kind...


***********************


Larry is a bona-fide manic depressive paranoid schizophrenic. He was first approached by Frank Zappa in the late 60's while Larry was performing in his usual way: he would walk the streets of Hollywood singing songs for anyone for a dime. His songs were often about his family or how distanced he felt from the rest of society. Usually they were about happiness and friendship, but from the odd and disconcerting perspective of an outsider to these very things. It would be like me singing about what it's like to have a vagina. I could take a swing at it, but there is absolutely no way for me to know with any certainty that what I was saying was factual. He wanted these things so badly that even the concept of happiness made him happy. For a little while at least.

I won't get into too much detail here, but he released a handfull of albums in the 70's and 80's and then disappeared from sight. He was always either homeless or on the verge of becoming homeless, and frequesntly in and out of mental hospitals. As near as I can figure he was never really a threat to anyone, even himself.

He was always a sad character with joy in his heart. Even when his life was spiralling out of his control, he always had a song in his heart. He dreamed of becoming a huge pop star, headlining in Vegas and being "bigger than the Beatles."


His albums were never widely accepted and most who heard them thought they were a joke. He never was the greatest singer, and his rhyming schemes were questionable at best. I don't know what it is about Larry's music that touches me - I think it's the fact that he was so lost in a world that didn't understand him, and he loved everyone in his weird way. But his music absolutley moves me.



My life has not been the same since I first heard him back in the early 80's (I can still very clearly remember a friend going through my record collection in 1984 looking for Metallica, Mercyfull Fate and Dead Kennedys, and coming across "An Evening With Wild Man Fischer" (pictured above) and asking me to put it on - he DID NOT GET IT!!). I think I immediately understood him. He didn't have the social skills to interact with most people, but he had a love of music that he simply had to share, and that is a beautiful thing.



Recently there was a documentary made about him entitled "Derailroaded", and while I have yet to see it I must applaud those that took the time and effort to do it. I just hope they didn't do a "look at the freak" piece. That would be devastating. It is currently awaiting a domestic DVD release.



He is still alive, but from what I understand he has been in virtual seclusion for the past 2 decades, only occasionally venturing out into the real world. The documentary promises new interviews with him, and I for one can't wait to see how he's doing.

Sadly, I believe that everything he has recorded is currently out of print, but I have all of it, so if you're intrigued by what you hear or what I've tried to convey here, let me know and I'll do what I can to get more of his amazing spirit to you. I used to go down to Tower records and buy multiple copies of his records and just give them to friends, so I don't see why I should stop now for those who wish to be included.



Okay, that was WAY freaking longer than I had intended it to be.


In 2004, Larry was invited to be a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel show (wish I'd heard about it!) and his collaborators in the 80's, Barnes and Barnes - remember the song "Fish Heads"? - went backstage to wish him luck. Yes, that's Billy Mumy from Lost in Space on the right.


"How Noble is the sad heart who would sing a joyous song with joyous hearts." -Kahil Gibran



**********
"
Friends...

We're very saddened to report that rock and roll lost another legend yesterday. Larry 'Wild Man' Fischer passed away yesterday morning at UCLA hospital from heart related complications. Larry lived a tough, hard 66 years of life.

Even though Larry never did reach the pinnacle of fame and fortune he so yearned for, he was successful in inspiring and influencing people from all over the world with his unique brand of music and expression.

Thank you Larry for your friendship, generosity and your music. You were a one-of-a-kind talent with a 'one-of-a-kind mind.' There will NEVER be another one like you. We miss you already.

-Josh and Jeremy
(The Ubin Twinz)

The Fischer family is requesting that if you wish to honor Larry's memory please make a donation to the National Alliance on Mental Illness: http://www.nami.org/

"Like Frank Zappa said, I've traveled the world... and there is only one Wild Man Fischer"- Larry
"

The brief update...

No, this isn't an update on my underwear. That would be inappropriate. Oh wait, I'm all kinds of inappropriate. Maybe this is an update on my underwear. Who knows? You'll just have to read on and find out for yourself. Sucker...

So anyway, job hunting, as I'm sure you all know, sucks more than spending 20 minutes on the can only to reach over and discover you ran out of toilet paper last time. But I went on a good interview today, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I know that by writing this here it probably means I've jinxed it, but whatever. It went well, I'm feeling good about it, and I wanted to share. Sue me. We'll see, but it seemed like it went well.

I made curry again for dinner last night, and I'll be dipped in tapioca pudding if I'm not COMPLETELY looking forward to the leftovers later tonight. MmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I love curry. Not the disgusting Indian kind, the awesome Japanese-y kind.

Been rediscovering my love for crust-punk recently. For those who don't know, it's like punk rock, but way more aggressive and pissed off. Kind of like what used to be called "hardcore" but way less refined. It started in england by a bunch of pissed off squatter-punks who loved Motorhead, and now it's a worldwide thing that rules. Being a sexist pig, I am particularly fond of the crust bands with female singers. Don't really know why, but I love the fact that they're just doing it, you know? Plus, with it being crust anyway, they're never going to get rich and famous doing it, so it's all for the love of doing it. I love punk rock.

There, see? No underwear. You're welcome.

A note on the pictures...

No, this post isn't going to void the disclaimer(s) on the header bar thing. It's here to inform you that all of the pictures that I have posted that came/come from my camera, when you click on them, they become freaking huge!! See, I didn't know that when I posted them. I figured that they re-sized into something manageable. But no. They're huge. Uber-huge.

I'm sure you all already knew that, and that I was the only one who didn't. Things kind of work out that way with me. A lot.

ZOO!!

Went to the Portland Zoo today, and a ball-rocking time was had!! Okay okay okay, I know there are those of you who feel that zoos are more akin to orphanages/prisons than anything else, but this particular zoo at least claims to be about conservation and all that kind of hippie crap. Sure, most of them do, but it being Oregon I tend to believe them a little bit more than one in, say, Arizona or something.

Not the zoo entrance.

GF got the tickets online, which apparently means we don't have to pay for parking either. That's $2 in our pockets! See? The zoo saves us money!

He wasn't this blurry on the booklet.

So this cute as balls thing is looking all regal on the map-thing and I get all excited. I love the kitties. I could watch exotic kitties all day. I was looking forward to seeing this thing. Look at that little face! If I didn't know that he would maim me beyond comprehension, I'd want to snuggle that little face for hours, then feed him ice cream and sing show tunes into his face at full volume. That'd get him in a wrastlin' mood, I betcha!

Bear playing with a tree.

First of all, I think it's awesome that this relatively little bear decided to uproot a tree and play with it. He had a buddy not far from him that was way more into napping. But this guy was making the tree do all kinds of flippies and stuff. Kyoot.

Then we came across this sign...

Notice how it says nothing about being careful that a bear might fall on you.

So I glance up, see nothing, and go about my business of noticing how I can see my breath at 9:30am on an atypically sunny day. Then I notice people ahead of me looking up. So I look too.

Bear in a tree.

I don't think you understand what I'm saying... BEAR IN A TREE!

So yeah, about 20 feet above our heads, there was this cubby-buddy hanging out up a freaking tree. I mean, he was way the crap up there! But just remember that the sign said that he does this all the time and is perfectly safe. Again, I wasn't really worried about him as much as I was about the possibilities of this thing deciding to take a cue from his pal the flying squirrel. That's all I need is a freaking bear swooping all over me. Death from above - whatever.

Can you call something that never had hair in the first place "bald?"

This dude was all kinds of stoic. I snapped a few pics of him hoping that at least one would turn out okay. He kind of looks weird-beaky in this one. Hooky-beak or something. Whatever, he's smarter and wiser than I so I bow to him in reverence.

Angry looking turtle staring into my soul.

There were other critters and varmints running around in their unnatural habitats looking grateful for the rare sunshine.

Happy looking owl who was apparently blind. Still awesome.

Some of the habitat huts had some cool things in them. One had life-sized elephant-uglies (you know what I'm talking about) in small boxes so I avoided that one because my life actually did depend on it.

Um... ducks.

This is Frank and Benjamin. They were pretty cool. Their wives were wandering around about 10 feet to the right of here. The only reason I remember that their names are Frank and Benjamin is because I had the foresight to have GF do this...

100 = Frank and Benjamin.

Don't ask me why the one duck's name is Frank and not Franklin. I tend to go for Franklin more often than not when I'm naming things. This just proves to me that Frank and Benjamin were their actual names and they telepathically transmitted this information to me because they thought I was cool. Thanks, ducks!

Not team Jacob. Team Awesome.

There were 3 wolves. Two whiter ones walking around all irritated, and this guy who was just laying there at first, then got up and started staring off into the distance for no reason. Then we noticed two dorks wandering around the hillside behind the wolf pen. If it were up to me I would have let these guys go play with those tards. I'll take wolves over people any day.

Poser.

This guy seriously jumped up on this barrel right when we walked up. He was trying to divert my attention away from the awesomness that was right next door to him...

CHICKENS!!!!!!!!

Fearful of the sun.

Midget chickens.

Seriously, that little herd of chickens were all maybe six inches tall. Too cute. I wanted to take them home, but then remembered that we have two cats. It would have gotten kinda messy.


Saw some pagoons, but they were being transplanted to a different habitat while their normal habitat was being fitted with an x-box or something. The pictures came out blurry so I'm not uploading them because this page will probably already take about an hour to load up on your machines. You're welcome.

I will, however, upload this...

yup

Polar bear junk. Okay, here's a bunch of pics...

GF = 0.5 polar bear. Pink-hatted dwarf-chewer retreats in mortal fear.

Phyllis Diller Pig

Breeder.

 This woman really wanted to be in about half a dozen of my pictures. I figured I'll make her day and post one of them that she got into so she can point herself out to her friends at home. I didn't know I had such crazed fans!

Have I ever mentioned that elephants are GFs favorite creatures ever? They are.

 

That's a little baby with a couple of huges. feeding time, I reckon.

Mastodont = Metal

And yeah, it said "mastodont." I don't know why, and I'm too tired to look it up.

Evil god or cute hat?

Ball rocker supreme.

 This dude was all kinds of speedy. We took about a thousand pictures and maybe two came out where he wasn't just a blur of spots and eyes. Ocelot. Animal kingdom-speak for "hells yes!"

It's a baby... thing.

 Yeah, don't remember what that thing was, but there were two of them and they were cuter than you. Sleepier too.

So I was beginning to lose hope of seeing the cat thing on the map, then I turned a corner and saw this...

Eeeeaaarrrsss!!!!!!!!

Yup, there he was. All kinds of awesome, but not wanting to have anything to do with my picture-takingness. I had decided that this picture was good enough and went into some other exhibit, only little did I know that said exhibit actually looped around and I got to see this...

Buddy!!!!

 That right there is a freaking buddy. Check him out. I loves the kitties and this dude was kitty supreme. It's called a "caracal" for some reason. I want one.

Hipposlugs. Actual size.

Why the long neck?

 This thing was so dainty and delicate that it almost defied logic. Look at it, it can't be much to eat. But it's pretty.

I didn't realize until just now that his tongue is sticking out. Defiance!

 I forget what these things were called. Wait, I think I took a picture of the sign... it's a "duiker" which is apparently pronounced "dye-ker" or something. Sounds made up. But it was cute in a weird pea-goat kind of way.

Negative

Percher.

And that last guy there we found on our way out.

So that was our trip to the zoo. Ummm... yeah it was awesome. Can't wait to go back, although I think next time I'll pass on the $8 grilled cheese sandwich. If they had had one on display, I would have much rather had a gibbonburger or something.